He's Known for His Monologue #31

Naomi Campbell [is] testifying at the war crimes trial of the former liberian president…Charles Taylor. …It's over what they call conflict diamonds. Apparently she got them from Taylor. He was trying to impress her. You know what those are, conflict diamonds? Those are diamonds that are sold to fund wars. They call them blood diamonds. That's what it's about. Don't confuse those with conflict zirconium. No No. No. (laughter) That's a conflict that develops after your wife finds out the diamond you bought is really a cubic zirconium. That starts another war completely. (laughter) That is a whole different war. A different war. (applause)

-August 10, 2010